The Utilitarian Calculator
"If we had a time machine, what should we do?" "The greatest happiness will be caused if you go back in time and kill the first fish to step onto the land."
the problem with maximal happiness is that it's lame as shit
Terminator: The Simone de Beauvoir Chronicles
All machines are mortal, and each machine's particular death will be at the hand of my double-barrel shotgun.
The Bar Tab
Dennett tried to explain that money is just an emergent property of commerce, but had to eventually concede that money did still exist in some sense, so had to pay.
In which Peter Singer investigates a basement flood
Don't worry, I did the math. The amount of pleasure I got from writing this terrible joke outweighs the suffering it caused from people having to read it.