A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Braveheart's Speech

Description: William Wallace is giving his speech before a battle, like in the movie Braveheart.

William Wallace: "They may take our lives, but they’ll never take ... our freedom!"

Sartre: "He means because in a metaphysical sense, our freedom is transcendent, so even if we are enslaved by the English we will still at least have the freedom to interpret our condition."

Spinoza: "No, Sartre, he means they can't take our freedom because we never had it to begin with. The world is deterministic, and freedom is an illusion. There is nothing the English can do about that."

Marx: "No Spinoza! He doesn't care about metaphysics. He means they can't take our freedom because we peasants are enslaved by our own wealthy lords. We must unite with the global proletariat to throw off the ruling class of every nation in order to be free!"
Spinoza: "Not everything is about class warfare, Marx."

Sartre: "Um, excuse me, Mr. William Wallace, do you mean they can't take our freedom because it is metaphysically impossible, or because we are already oppressed?"

William Wallace: "I mean they can't take our freedom, because if they try we will stab them in the face with our swords. Understand?"

Sartre, looking around nervously as the battle begins: "Um, you guys...I'm starting to think this isn't the philosophy debate club."

Spinoza: "I told you we missed an exit!"
Marx: "you can take our lives, but you can never take our surplus labor value!"

What is Existentialism?

Sartre: "What is existentialism?"
Sartre: "It is the philosophy of freedom."
Sartre: "We are born into the world without any essence - we are uniquely able to self create what we are. We are absolutely free."
Person in crowed: "Wow, that sounds like a wonderful philosophy."
Sartre: "Oh also...did i mention how freedom manifests itself as a crushing anxiety, since every choice we are forced to make forever closes off all other possible lives we could have lived, as we helplessly hurdle towards death, which finally severs off our life's projects, rendering them meaningless as they disappear into the void?"
Sartre: "So it's more like you are condemned to be free."
Sartre: "Where are you guys going? It's still a wonderful philosophy, come on! You didn't even get to hear about the inescapable burden of knowing you alone are responsible for every choice you make."
Sartre: "It is a wonderful philosophy!"
Also there is no point to anything and then you die. But you are super free in the meantime, so...

Sartre Advises a Student

[description]: A student comes into Jean-Paul Sartre's office.

Student: "Sartre, please, I need your advice with a terrible dilemma."
Sartre: "What is it?"

Student: "My brother was killed in the war, and I wish terribly to join the army and avenge him. But I live alone with my mother, she lives only for me - if i were to leave her it would plunge her into despair."

Student: "How do i weigh my obligation to my mother, compared to my obligation to France?"

Student: "How can i go off to war, when my actions will serve a great cause, but my individual actions may disappear like water into sand and serve no purpose."

Student: "But how can i stay at home when others fight? Isn't the war more important? Which course is the right way to take?"

Student: "can you please advise me, what should i do?"
Sartre: "Yes: choose freely, for the choice is yours alone."

Student: "Uh...that's it? But that's nothing."
Sartre: "You are radically free to do either one."

Student: "But i already know i'm free. Just saying “you are free” isn't advice, it's just describing why it is a dilemma. I could get that from a fortune cookie!"

Sartre: "Sorry kid, office hours are over."
[sign on the wall]: Office hours: never bother me.

In Which Jean-Paul Sartre Attempts to Return Some Socks

"Can I speak with your manager?" "Okay, but the managers are only allowed to pretend to override corporate policy, when they are really just applying more specific corporate policy."

Punk Rock Philosophy


Exisentialism is the most punk rock philosophy, but Diogenes is the most punk rock philosopher.

Sartre and the Chestnut Tree

"Oh my god, de Beauvoir! I've just realized what I should do with my life! I should write novels!" "Sartre...you've already written like five novels..." "Oh yeah..."

The Look

Description: Merleau-Ponty and Sartre at sitting at a table, Sartre is looking at Merleau-Ponty. Sartre slowly gets closer and closer to Merleau-Ponty's face, staring more and more intensely.

Merleau-Ponty: "Okay!  Enough already, Sartre. I'm sorry for saying your philosophical concept of “The Look” was stupid."

Sartre: "What's the matter, Ponty? You can't work without filtering your experience through the knowledge that you are an object in the world for another?"
Merleau-Ponty: "I said enough. You made your point."
Sartre: "think another hour or two and you'll really start to get how profound it is."
"Hey Sartre, have I ever explained to you my ideas about the phenomenology of punching people?"

Existentialism at the Beach


Also...I thought the sign was strictly prohibiting NOT doing those things.

Existential Chess


Okay, I promise this is the last time I'll do a "radical freedom" joke. Although when you think about it no promise that I make today can actually determine my future actions, on account of...well, you know.

The True Meaning of Life

"A tenure track position is the ultimate goal of human existence!"

It's Always Sunny in Paris 2



de Beauvoir: "Wait, weren't we supposed to be defeating the Nazis?" Camus: "Oh yeah, that's right. Oh well, I'm sure it will work itself out."

It's Always Sunny in Paris



Camus: "Wait, so if the meaning of life is arbitrary, maybe it can just be seducing as many girls as possible?" Sartre: "It isn't that arbitrary."

Door to Door Existentialism


Eh, I'll get around to finding some kind of meaning or purpose to my life after a few more episodes.

Existential Daycare

Of course, it was really a meta commentary on how art can never fully communicate the inward feelings of the artist.

Sartre's Muse

"Hey Sartre. Sartre. Why did the chicken have a self-nihilating nothingness that haunted the core of its being? To get to the other side!"

Jury Selection


If you've noticed any characters appearing and disappearing, it isn't because the artist is lazy, it is because an evil demon is deceiving you.

Sexy Vampires and Existential Philosophy



Yeah I mean, life is meaningless and all, but it turns out being a sexy vampire is kind of alright.

Philosopher under the bed

"Justified true belief isn't enough to account for knowledge, woooooo!"

Existential Hour


Heidegger used to host the show, but he was fired after some...off color remarks.

Objection!


Although Sartre was obviously in bad faith when he said that Nietzsche has a terrible mustache, because come on.

Sartre's Waiter


"I don't know, it sort of seems like someone playacting at having radical freedom..."

Sartre: a Show About Nothingness 2


I'll bet you 500 dollars that you won't seduce a married woman just because you find it interesting.

Philosophy News Network: the Presidential Debates


Make sure to join us at eleven. Do your teenagers have a subjective, internal experience? The answer may be unknowable.

Despair Bears


"But you made Care Bears creepy and weird" No. Wrong. The Care Bears were always creepy and weird

Sartre: A Show About Nothingness


"Albert, this report you turned in. It's crap." "Or maybe it's just so brilliant you just don't understand it." "No, it's definitely crap" "Damn you Simone!"

Existential Office



Eventually they figured out that Kafka was actually fired years ago, but due to a glitch in the payroll system he kept getting paid. So they fixed the glitch.

Existential Birthday

Sartre stopped inviting Kierkegaard, because Kierkegaard kept giving him crosses and trying to get him to talk about the stages of despair.

Twelve Angry Philosophers



What? You didn't expect twelve philosophers to agree on something did you?

The Philosophy Superbowl



In many ways Wittgenstein is similar to Tom Brady, whose first Superbowl was also based on a mistake: the Tuck Rule. Also, they are both devastatingly handsome.

Candyland and the Nature of the Absurd


Sartre and Camus told everyone that their falling out was over politics, but really it was mostly over Sartre evoking "radical freedom" one too many times at game night

Fastest Gun in the Continent

I'm pretty sure if my computer had free will, it would use it 99% of the time to be a judgemental dick to me.

Philosophy Tech Support


Hello, customer complaints, this is Leibniz. Oh yeah? Well, this is the best of all possible customer support centers, so that can't be true

Authentic Man


"Also, your haircut makes you look like a douche" "Actually, that's kind of what I was going for" "Oh, well in that case you are good"

Existential Radio


Camus called back later, putting on a deep voice and bad German accent, pretending to be Heidegger, but Sartre had installed caller ID.

World Cup Philosophy: Germany vs France




For best results, the commentator should be read in the voice of Michael Palin

Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers


About half the time spent on this comic was spent on figuring out how exactly Simone de Beauvoir's hair works, and it still ended up looking terrible. I make no apologies for Derrida's hair, however, for no artist alive can capture that glorious mane.

Sartre and Hobbes play Monopoly

Hume: Just because the rules have always said that people break out of jail when they roll a double in the past doesn't mean they do now. Check the inside of the box again.

The Problems of Philosophers


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