A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Coach Epictetus


"Good job showing your Stoic virtue, but caring about the sport so much that you sacrifice your body and mind to try to win, but then don't care enough to be upset when things go wrong."

Stoic Advice

Person: "Are you the great philosopher, Epictetus?"
Epictetus: "None other."
Person: "I come to you in dire need of advice, please, guide me with you wisdom?"
Epictetus: "Very well, what is your dilemma?"

Person: "I have discovered my wife has been unfaithful! My honor dictates that i must duel him, and bring my wife before the magistrate."

Person: "But she claims she loves me still, and only went to him because of my neglect. She says if i return to her we can live as before, and how i wish it could be so! But i have sworn an oath to uphold the law."

Person: "How can i choose between my honor and my love? Between justice and forgiveness? which form of anguish is preferable, guilt or shame?"


Epictetus: "have you tried just not worrying about it haha."
Person: "What?!"

Epictetus: "Yeah, just like...don't let it effect you. Really it is your reaction to these events that is causing you suffering, when you think about it."

Person: "That's your “wise advice”?! To not care about it?"
Epictetus: "Yeah, just be like “oh well, doesn't bother me.”"

Description: he stabs Epictetus.
Epictetus: "I am not bothered by this turn of events."
This is fine.

Stoic Apathy

Epictetus: "In order to become a Stoic Master, you must learn the Stoic art of apathy - the art of not caring."
Student: "I want to be a Stoic Master."
Epictetus: "Then show me how apathetic you are, tell me what you don't care about."

Student: "I don't care if...the weather is nice or not."
Epictetus: "More apathy!"
Student: "I don't care if...people like me or not."
Epictetus: "More! Care less!"

Student: "I don't care if...terrible pain is inflicted on me."
Epictetus: "Good. More apathy!"

Student: "I don't care if my family lives or dies, and all that i love perishes from the earth."
Epictetus: "Yes! Let the apathy flow through you."

Student: "Wait a minute, yes i do. I care a ton about my family, and would be devastated if they died, and i'm perfectly okay with that."

Epictetus: "Bah! You'll never become a Stoic Master if you are so attached to such transient things."

Student: "Well...then i guess i don't care about becoming a Stoic Master."

Epictetus, gasping: "Oh my god...he is the one!"
According to the Stoic doctrine of Apatheia, one should not be bothered by the fact that someone carelessly translates "apatheia" as "apathy", leading to misleading and inaccurate representations for comedic effect.

Epictetus Has a Bad Day

One day I'm going to intentionally make a comic that misinterprets Stoicism so bad that it'll piss off all the Stoicism nerds, and I'll be like "ha, got you!"

Stoic Relationship Advice

"A perfect relationship will be achieved when neither of you cares in the slightest if the other dies."

Stoicism Bootcamp

"Also, buy my new book 'How to be Totally Stoic in 21 Easy Steps'" "What the hell, all the pages are blank, I want my money back!" "Ah, you can't change the book though, you can only change your reaction to the book. Also, no refunds."

The Next Great Stoic Competition


The reality TV phase of Marcus Aurelius's life was mostly edited out of Meditations.

Epictetus was a hardass professor


Yeah, no one ever passed his class and all his students hated him, but Epictetus didn't really let it bother him.

Sorry! And the Nature of Suffering


It is better to not even begin playing the game, as it will only lead to suffering and misery. Plus, last time I played Hegel ended up winning, even though he totally didn't deserve it.
Support the comic on Patreon
Follow on RSS Follow on twitter Follow on facebook share with reddit share on twitter share with your friends on facebook share with google employees